Inside Voice

I didn’t exactly storm off.
See there were no torn buttons and muffled whimpers.
Instead, it was him grabbing my ass in class and me laughing it off, all while I scanned the room and hoped that no one would take my laugh as an invitation for another hand.

I didn’t exactly say stop.
See there were no harsh nails digging into skin.
Instead, he was the first guy to look at me and while I wasn’t ready for the desires that came with his gaze, I let him play the puppet master and use me to lead him to his peak.

I didn’t push him off.
See there were no silent whispers and hoarse tears.
Instead, it was him cutting me off mid-sentence. Except he swallowed his words and pressed his lips to mine and I let it go on, losing colour and becoming as white as snow.

I didn’t leave.
See there was no blinding slap and closed blinds.
Instead, it was clear that when his eyes darkened as quickly as a winter’s night that the rest of the evening was written in the stars.
Except, I wanted to take control of my own destiny but being called a tease seemed like a far worse fate so I let the moon guide me and I matched my sounds with the bed creaks.

See there was no truth to share about them like the monsters in our mentions, so why does it feel like each of them took a piece of me I can never get back?