They say the first stage of grief is denial.
I always thought they meant that you’d reject the truth.
You are gone.
This is a fact.
It’s a truth hard to swallow.
I may have used my tears instead of water, but I still swallowed it.
They say the first stage of grief is denial.
I always thought that denial would cause my mind to try to trick me.
That my mind would show me old photos, and have me deny that there’s more life in them than what was in her.
I was wrong.
There is denial.
Just not in my mind, but in my body.
They say the first stage of grief is denial.
My mind is drowning in what ifs and should have beens, but my body.
My body carries on.
My body hugs back when people reach out to touch me.
My mouth smiles and nods when people ask if I’m okay.
My body carries on while my mind wanders.
My body tries to move past the grief, and there’s a moment where my body feels that I’ll be okay.
They say the first stage of grief is denial, and now my body has caught up with my mind.
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